{what is} saving my life? pills

I came across a blog the other day of Sarah Bessey, she posed the question What is saving your life right now?  Sadly my current answer would be Ambien.

Yes, I am a total stress box. I can not shut my brain off! I am praying for guidance, stress relief, sleep. I am praying that I don’t make the wrong decision. When I had my son it was the best day of my life but little did I know if I had just had him 2weeks later none of this…

do I send him?

do we wait?

is he ready?

is it better to be oldest?

someone has to be the youngest, right?

DOES it really matter?

Is it obvious that he is my first, my only? Am I nitpicking it all on the eve of gotta make a decision and pay someone? I am not ready to send him. ANYWHERE! We have been together all summer and all last year as I taught preschool and he was there everyday I got to see everything, missed nothing, I am FREAKING out and honestly for you that know me I am SHOCKED that I am feeling this way!!

So as Sarah Bessey asked what is saving my life? Right this moment it’s AMBIEN and it’s kicking in so I am off to hopefully a good nights rest. I will worry about it all again tomorrow.

xoxo, Mama Bird 

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